I fiiiiinnnnaaalllllyyyyy got a job.
It’s nothing fancy, just 5 hours a day helping one family that lives literally 1 minute’s walk from me. The mom broke her ankle really bad and can’t do anything she normally does (laundry, tidying up, taking care of 3 kids), so that’s where I’ve come in. The family is really nice: the kids are rowdy and playful with eachother but very respectful, well-behaved and sweet with adults, even their own parents (which is rare to see). The mother is really nice and down to earth, and I don’t see much of the dad, but he’s great with his kids. I’m just so happy to be busy after so long, and I’m still trying to fill up more afternoons as well. I know that some people who are always busy long to end up in a place where they don’t have any responsibility or stress (ie., nirvana or Brahmajyoti), but I say ‘Bring It On!!!’ Life is seriously boring without these anxieties. I mean, yeah it would be pretty hellish if you were just busy for the sake of it and not really going anywhere with it, but to be working for a goal, to have a purpose to all the craziness- it just turns into nectar, as they say! I just got a quote by text: “Man is not destroyed by suffering, he is destroyed by suffering without meaning.” (Viktor Frankl- I don’t know who that is, so don’t ask me! Google him) It’s so true; we know that pretty much everything in this material world is leading one to suffering, but if we understand it, accept it and work with it, then it becomes meaningful. And what worse thing is there than to lead a meaningless life? There are so many people who live without a sense of introspection and self-development that’s it’s scary. I should try to remember that and go out on sankirtan to help people realize they should think more about their actions, but I’m still too chicken to do it. Actually, it’s an over-inflated false-ego thing. I can admit it at least!
Another realization I’ve had is a reinforcement of what I already knew: that attachment grows through service. It’s such a simple dynamic of relationships actually, but so profound. I mean, every morning I see the older two kids for about 90 minutes. I get there, dress them both for school, give them breakfast, comb the little girl’s hair, put the little boy’s kippah and setseh (sp?) on and generally keep them moving until they leave. I dress the baby, feed him, play with him, hose him down when he’s lovingly left me a #2 in his diaper. And even though I’ve only been doing all of this for just a few days yet, I already feel an affection for these kids who I otherwise have no relationship to. I like talking about how cute they are and look forward to seeing them the next day. Perhaps I’m just living vicariously through the mother’s unfortunate circumstance, but I am actually enjoying having to run her house and I know I’d like it even more if it was my own house and my own kids. :o) Performing menial, personal service for another person really does make you love them. And how much sweeter it is to serve Krsna and our gurus personally, and to develop our love for them!
~Rasa
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